


Just a Jump to The Left

by lostlittlelion



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Crossdressing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-11
Updated: 2012-06-11
Packaged: 2017-11-07 11:49:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/430823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostlittlelion/pseuds/lostlittlelion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ferb Fletcher is 17 years old. He's a Rocky Horror junkie. And he likes crossdressing. Sometimes, these things may spectacularly combine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a Jump to The Left

**Author's Note:**

> Endless thanks to my dear friend Charly for providing me with the necessary inspiration and encouragement to make this story happen (we may even collaborate on future chapters), along with many thanks to the Phineas & Ferb Tumblr community for making me feel so at home. 
> 
> Due to all the problems AO3's been having lately, I don't know when or how often I'll be able to update this, but I do have the general outline of a story planned. In the meantime, I think this first chapter works decently as a stand-alone (...right?).

17-year-old Ferb Fletcher awoke in a groggy state, head pounding, the bright bluish light of the TV glaring in his eyes. As he rolled over, he fell right off his bed and onto the carpet. Blindly fumbling around on the floor for his glasses, he instead bumped the DVD player remote, pressing the “Mute/Unmute” button. Now, in addition to the bright lights in his eyes, the instrumental track for “Time Warp” was blaring in his ears, making his temples throb. He grunted.

Finally locating his glasses next to an uncapped tube of red lipstick (he hopes it doesn’t stain the carpet, Mum would kill him), he wiped the lenses on his sleeve and put them on, squinting as his eyes adjusted. Now he could see his mess of a bedroom in its entirety.  
The family pet, Perry the platypus, was asleep in the corner, on top of a leather corset (wasn’t that hanging in the closet the last time he saw it?). A lone fishnet stocking was draped over the curtain rod on the window. And the floor was sprinkled with glitter and...uncooked rice? What was going on?

The next thing his eyes located was a cork, and following the trail of red droplets behind it (now that’s going to leave a stain), an empty wine bottle.  
Ah. Things were starting to take shape now.

* * *

Roughly nine hours earlier, it was looking to be a rather dull evening for Ferb Fletcher. His parents out of town for the weekend, older sister Candace spending the night at a friend’s, and brother Phineas pulling an all-nighter at their friend Baljeet’s house playing Dungeons and Dragons (Ferb was invited to come along, of course, but was uninterested), he was left alone in the house. His automatic response would’ve been to call up his best friend Isabella, but she had relatives visiting from Mexico this week and had to stay home helping her mother around the house.  
So what was a 17-year-old boy to do?

Feeling bored and lonely, he approached his parents’ liquor cabinet in the basement. They never locked it, trusting their children to stay away, but Ferb had developed a bit of a rebellious streak in recent years. He pulled out the cheapest bottle of wine he could find (Linda and Lawrence only noticed something was missing if it was particularly expensive), uncorked it with his teeth, and waltzed up to his room, muttering “Let the party begin.”

Spitting the cork out onto the carpet as he entered his room, Ferb took a swig from the wine bottle. He grimaced at the taste initially, but shrugged it off. Setting the bottle down on the makeshift vanity by his bed (it was really just a desk with an oversized mirror and some old white Christmas lights nailed to the wall behind it, but details, details), he sauntered off to Candace’s room down the hall. He was out of eyeshadow again and this was a situation that needed remedying immediately.

* * *

Ferb applied the dark liner to his eyelids with ease, years of costume parties and assisting backstage with children’s theatre productions paying off. He loved the smooth feel of it running across his skin, leaving gorgeous, thick black lines above his deep blue eyes.

Next came the lipstick, quite possibly his favorite part. This was something he bought himself, rather than something he “borrowed” from Candace or Isabella. The slick, creamy red color, and the distinct scent it gave off (what were those delightful undertones, raspberry, perhaps?) were things he reveled in.

The rest of the makeup went on rather quickly, as Ferb became more and more careless with each sip of wine from the bottle next to him. Now it was time for the costume.

It wasn’t complete, of course; he simply didn’t have the time, money, or courage necessary to track down a store that sold black leather underwear and swagger in to purchase a pair. No matter, though: he’d managed to pick up a suitable corset last time he’d been to the mall with Isabella (the cheap, satiny kind you’d get in a costume shop, but it would have to do for now), and he’d snagged a pair of fishnet stockings from Candace’s room once (she wasn’t allowed to wear such things and kept them a secret, so she wouldn’t dare to ask where they went once they “disappeared”). Black spandex exercise shorts made a suitable bottom half of the ensemble, and red high-top sneakers substituted for the pumps he so longed to wear.  
Close enough.

Feeling as though he were going out rather than staying in, he ran downstairs to collect the necessary props to complete the movie-going experience: rice, toilet paper, and a couple slices of toast were easy enough to find.  
And with that, taking another swig from the bottle, Ferb Fletcher popped his copy of The Rocky Horror Picture Show into the DVD player, cranked the volume, and settled down on the edge of his bed opposite the TV screen, prepared to Time Warp like nobody’s business.


End file.
